okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You took a bar mat shot.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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