can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Randomize
