So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
