goodnight i made you a song goodbye
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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