part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
