Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
