I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
