Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
