They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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