The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
