i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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