they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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