guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
