I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Quick, to the slutcave!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
