week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
