and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
