At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
