I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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