just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
