you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
