so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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