watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
