I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
