small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my poor anus
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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