I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
