Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Say something about gay babies.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
