its not stalking. its research.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
