he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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