I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Randomize
