are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
COCAINE IS GR8
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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