I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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