dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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