I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
