Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
