So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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