theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
do herpes really smell.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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