There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
