at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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