Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
