shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
