i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
