Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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