so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
