Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
