Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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