I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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