I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
