were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
