U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I supernannyed him into submission
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