Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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