I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
